I have to be more productive
Starting from today, there'll be no holiday.
There was a fluctuation in the number of platelets in my blood a couple of weeks ago. It was due to the dengue virus who infected my stromal cells and impaired my bone marrow. The fluctuation ended by going straight to 298 x 10³ per mm³, which is a good indication that I don't have AIDS or the virus is simply staying dormant as my immune system has once again won the war. (Good one, CD4 in my T helper cells!) And now I've earned myself a lifelong immunity to one of the five serotypes of dengue virus. Four more to go. But thanks to it I've had to postpone my SATs that were supposed to take place when I was having my dengue fever. And it was really a shame that I spent 1 week lying on the bed, doing basically nothing, and, after recovery, another 3.5 weeks pondering the meaning of life while living my life the way a normal teenager would, probably due to the fact that I've secretly promised myself a vacation after I have recovered.
These few weeks have been undoubtedly unproductive.
I've still got my freelance work to do, an education app to develop, algorithms to look into, lectures on quantum mechanics to watch, differential topology to study, books on fractal geometry to read, a girl to date, dance skills to acquire, and many things to learn, for I am an inexperienced, naive, and (to a certain degree) ignorant layperson who has come into existence approx. 17.75 years ago in this universe that has an age of 13.5 billions years and fortunately (though I don't believe in fortune) as a member of Homo Sapiens that had been on this 4.54 billion years old Earth for only 0.25 million years, though now and then I doubt I'm a highly intelligent alien who is on a zoological mission to inspect and study the human species. To make things easier I'm having a temporary amnesia and have been biologically reengineered into a humanoid with most cells, tissues, and organs functioning exactly like those of a human's. But then it would sound self-deceiving and delusional. The belief of myself being an extraterrestrial being cognitively more advanced than humans can really be a humongous ego boost but I shouldn't forget that this is merely an assumption based on no solid evidence; it is nothing more than a surmise. Rationally speaking, I shouldn't even waste my time contemplating the possibility of it being true. However, I can't deny that it is a rather good solution to Fermi's paradox.
What I fear more is whether I as a school dropout, who have been staying home studying things I like by myself instead of receiving "standard education" in school, can fully display who I am to Harvard. It doesn't matter if Harvard is not impressed. If the Harvard acceptance letter doesn't come to my door this time, I just want to know the reasons behind it. I will improve myself and go for the application again next year. But I do plan to start my semester in this coming summer and I don't feel like ruining this plan of mine.
Therefore I have to be more productive.
Tagged: digressing, quasi-tangential